PEACE

a poem

PEACE

so the sun rises, and sets.
i take my pills with apple juice. 

on tv a man washes windows,
he says he enjoys his work—
his dream job, making people happy.

days melting like candle wax.
so the sun rises and sets the lake aflame.

i take my pills and knock on doors
pleading to let me in, can i stay
for a while? i can’t stand to be alone.

can i sit on your bed and listen to your voice?
it’s better than the shouting inside my head.

i think soon i’ll be pulling the curtains
off their hangers, stuffing them in my mouth;
just, you know, something else to digest—

think soon I’ll be pulling up my sleeves
carving words into flesh, like
PEACE. maybe that makes it permanent.

hey can you take me out of me?
talk about your dream job, about father,
about windows, about what makes you happy

and maybe let your dreaming
fill this hollow space in me. it eats me up.

.